I’m working hard on our new Managing Emotions in Conflict course that will launch in June. I came across a great exercise and I’m going to challenge you all to participate! It’s from Lisa Feldman Barrett‘s book How Emotions are Made (an essential book in this field). As you may know, the bigger vocabulary we …
Managing conflict is always a nuanced and complex issue. However, in today’s post-pandemic world, many practitioners are finding their work especially challenging. From adapting to working online to supporting people in conflict directly over covid-related issues (such as vaccination), to encountering clients experiencing additional stressors relating to covid that impact their capacity to manage other …
Whether at work, at home, or in a community setting, conflict is practically inevitable, and conflict, by its very nature, is complex. The recent global pandemic has added new layers of complexity to managing conflict, due to much of our work and community settings moving to online platforms. Managing conflict in an online environment presents …
When we are in conflict, we often feel stuck, perhaps between a rock and a hard place! It’s important to remember, though, that we always have many choices about whether and how we respond in a conflict situation. Our first two obvious choices are: (1) do something, or (2) do nothing. Assuming that we would …
Recently I was a guest on Lizzie Bentley-Bower’s Leadership Letters podcast. In that podcast we talked about the importance of effective conflict management as an essential management skill. Lizzie also asks her guests to write a leadership letter, usually a letter to a leader who you admire. I decided to do something a little bit …
It is generally accepted that, to successfully manage and resolve conflict, it is important to try to see things from perspectives other than our own. We are advised to “try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes” and to “look at the situation objectively”. In theory, this is good advice, because our own point …
When someone in conflict comes to a manager or a conflict specialist for help with a conflict, they often ask for a solution. They want the manager or specialist to fix things for them, or at the very least to tell them what they should do. Having someone intervene on your behalf, or give you …
Giving someone in conflict what they want versus giving clients what they need Read More »
When we are in conflict, we tend to only see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. We filter out information that is inconsistent with our interpretation of events and we can ignore information that is glaringly obvious to other people around us. When we are emotional, this problem is …
Managing conflict well is not about suppressing emotions; rather it is about providing a constructive way to communicate about and through them. What does this mean in practice? Firstly, we need to accept that emotions are an integral part of conflict. They are always there, whether or not they are expressed, and whether or not …
Conflict-specific: BOOK: The Guide to Reflective Practice in Conflict Resolution by Michael D. Lang (2019) If you only ever read one thing about reflective practice in conflict resolution, it should be this book! Here’s the official overview of what the book is about: “This book is a common sense guide to becoming a reflective practitioner, …
Essential reading for the reflective conflict practitioner Read More »
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