“You’re not listening: What you’re missing and why it matters” by Kate Murphy
Another must read book for conflict professionals, and everyone else! Kate Murphy, a NYTimes journalist, explores listening, why it is so important, and why we are so bad at it!
Drawing on insights from neuroscience, psychology, and interviews with people from all walks of life, she explains what we are usually missing and why it matters.
She considers the way in which recent developments in the way we communicate have reduced our capacity (and apparent need) for listening. She also confirms something I have noticed in my coaching work – very few of us feel like we have someone who truly listens to us. She explains why there is a big difference between being a bad listener and being a good listener (and there’s a big difference between appearing to be a good listener, and actually being one)!
She provides a persuasive argument about the fundamental importance of listening, and some concrete suggestions for how to do it better. I also love the fact that she includes an entire chapter on When to Stop Listening (because sometimes that’s necessary)!
“Listening can transform your understanding of the people and the world around you, which inevitably enriches and elevates your experience and existence. It is how you develop wisdom and form meaningful relationships.”